My life is just like this pic... Disorientated... confused... n complicated....



I'm losing my colours bit by bit....



My life now is just like this pic... in black n white....

Things are getting more n more complicated... or is it just me?
i dun know... i dun wan to know.. i dun noe what i wan, i dunno wat i dun wan... i'm just plain confuse n complicated at the same time...
i wanna get out of it... but can i?
i dunno why i'm having all these uncertainties... i can see any light at e end of e tunnel... so does it mean e tunnel is nv going to end?
i dunno.. i realli dunno...
felt tired... dun wanna cont... can i?
i dunno...
i felt as if i am no longer like i used to be... i felt as if i'm a changed person...
changed for the better? or for e bad?? i also dunno..
if someone who had e aswers to all mt questions and uncertainty... pls give me a tag or pick me up again...

30mth had passed... what had we gain? what had we lose?
where are we heading to? where's our next destination? i realli dun hv e ans n i doubt u hv it...
we seems not to be moving forward... we are stagnent...

I wanna hv a life... i dun wan to be wat i am now... i wan to have a better life, i want to have a better future.. i am greedy... i want almost everything...
who can give me that? i guess myself.

i spent an hr plus blogging yesterday n when everything turn to zero when i pressed "publish post"...something is really wrong with blogger sia.. if this goes on, think i gotta switch to another server liao...

today blog wont be as detailed as yesterday.. but will try to get everything in....

was working on 11th n 12th.. 12th is a recall, so i got a oil in return, claim it on e 16th, cos wanna see xiaobai in action for his 2nd rd audition for project superstar.

13th was my oni off day. dragged mama accompany me to immigration office there to renew my going to be expired passport to e biometric one.. took a new photo for e new passport.. cos all my previous photo for my ic, 11b, passport etc etc were all very ugly.. e oni nice looking pic i got was on my driving license with my stylo mylo hairstyle.. lol.. i think even my bb did not get to see my 11b sia.. cos realli very ugly... lol... after making my passport, we went to plaza sing... mama get to shop n i get to shop too.. lol.. bought 2 creative mp3 for my 2 youngest sis.. lol.. i very gd hor? after that, went to harbour front for e big megastore closed door sales for regulars n members.. got a canon ip4200 printer.. it was great.. lol.. n i've already starting to print n print pics liao... lol.. can even print a4 size sia.. n turn out very nice lor.. so happy... hmm.. tat's how my offday was spend...

14th n 15th were on am shift.. nth special.. just that busy clearing lotsa backlog.. but well, i sort of enjoy it, cos i noe wat i am doin i enjoyed it.. keke.. got a sense of satisfication lor.. kekek
16th was my oil... went down to TPY hub to support xiaobai at his audition.. we made 2 small scale poster to support him... n well, he din let us down.. cos he got into e 3rd rd of project superstar... but as i was typing this now.. he had infact already make it thru to e 4th rd... tat means, we will once again go down to suntec to support him on e 8th oct.. looking forward to it....anyway, after tat, emily went home while i meet up with bb.. bb is so nice lor.. he went all e way down to beach road to help me look for my nr 3 belt.. cos my belt e buckle came off n i need it on e 18th.. n since it's weekend, i couldnt get it from e emart.. so my dearest bb went down to beach road to search for it.. but... beach road also din sell sia.. i was so panicked lor.. kept calling all e ladies in my coy asking if they have extra belt.. but none of them hv sia... but still, i gotta tks quite a few of them.. like mama sg, evon, sally n cheryl.. cos they help me sia.. n in e end.. sally lend me her belt with much help from evon, my da jie.. xie xie ni ah.. and also mama sg.. she gave me e buckle which i can fix it on my belt.. tks mama sg too!! lol.. luckily all solved so felt relieved.. bb n myself had sakae sushi at funan it mall.. they serve tepanyaki there too.. we tried e deluxe seafood tepanyaki set.. it was simply great.. n we ate quite alot of sushi too.. lol bb eat til he very full lor.. bb brought quite a nr of things today also.. a laptop carrier, a mouse for his mac book blah blah blah.. n wat did i get.. i din get anything lor.. cos i'm broke sia.. lol.. i think i spend quite alot on 4d.. tat;s y no money liao.. althought got strike 3 time in 2 weeks but not ehaf to cover sia.. so i've decided not to buy liao.. n today i din buy sia.. lol.. gd gal hor?? lol... after that went to cwp to get e buckle from mama sg.. wah.. she n her hubby so sweet lor.. went to movies leh.. it was like so nice lor.. keke.. wonder when i am at her age.. will i be so fortunate too.. keke... after that went to bb place to stay overnight..

17th working pm, bb sent me home cos his papa went overseas so he can use e car.. we then went for makan n he sent me to work... got present for xiaobai.. cos his birthday coming soon.. emily n i made him a card also.. sending him our well wishes for e project superstar... work was ok lor.. but abit tiring.. cos gotta cont to work till sat...

18th - 22nd was on 8 to 5... for some pre course thingy.. wasnt used to it but am trying hard to adapt to it... had a test on e 22nd.. hmm.. quite tough.. think shld be able to pass.. but cannot score high marks ba... haiz.. see how ba... seriously speaking, i dun think i am capable of getting e best n merit award sia.. but on e other hand, i dun wan to be e bottom lor.. i am aiming to be somewhere slightly above average.. lol.. cos i am e oni gal in e course sia.. more or less will rugi abit right? i think myself lah.. cos i dun hv technical b.grd mah... but watever it is, i will try my best lor.. cos pc say 55 results will more or less affect our end of yr ranking.. hopefully i can be at e slightly above average line ba.. lol... oh ya.. yesterday had dinner with cheryl.. omg.. her got blister sia.. so big n ouch.. i think it must bevery painful lor.. if i kena.. touchwood lah.. i think i will cry lor.. really very big sia.. gal, if u are reading this, pls tkgdcare of urself ah... must tkcare ah... okok.. 22th is xiaobai birthday.. had ganged up with weifu to give him a surprise... lol.. brought emily along too.. she is very happy lor.. happy till nite slp till so sweetly sia.. she told me one lor.. lol.. anyway, we had great fun... if u want to noe more abt it... pls click here...
http://tonyxiaobai.blogs.friendster.com/white_winter/2006/09/1_week_of_holid.html
lol.. xiaobai blog quite alot sia.. so u pple can know from his blog wat we did n where we went etc... but one thing he din mentioned was that after all e partying, he sent emily n me home lor.. felt so touched n paisae abt it.. cos realli very late liao.. then somemore he reach bishan liao, drop another fren le then send us back to yishun sia.. where actually his hse is in bishan lor.. u noe wat i mean? hmm.. lol.. a realli nice fren indeed.. just wanna let u noe.. no matter wat, human will never be alone de.. cos we always hv frens ard us.. so dun ever think that u will be alone on ur birthday ya!

23rd was offday.. went to collect my passport with emily.. after that went to xiaobai place then we went to mediacorp.. cos he is having his audition there.. lol.. but it's not open to public.. so after taking some shots of him, emily n i left.. lol.. cos i am no longer like those 15, 16yr old sia.. chase idols till no day no night.. lol.. maybe last time i also like them lah.. but now cannot liao.. old liao.. need my beauty rest to make up for my not so pretty face.. lol... hmm.. maybe mine is a dif type of support ba... lol n i'm sure he noe that both emily n i supported him eventhough we din wait till e wees hrs at mediacorp till e results were out.. n yes.. he got in n all of us.. i mean emily, myself n weifu were so happy lor.. congrats ah!!! ok, met up with bb after that.. then met up with weifu also.. do his dv thingy.. but i dunno how to do sia.. anyway, bb help me design a poster for xiaobai.. so nice of bb n he taught me how to use photoshop also.. now abit more better in it liao.. so happy... stayed over at bb's place till monday, then he accompany me back home...

26th n 27th on am shift...hmm nth much to talk abt work...hmm.. let me try to post this up then i shall upload some pics n some happy moments for today.. keke.. pls..let me post this up....

omg... i hvn been updating for more than 2 weeks... gosh....
sry pple... will update soon... lol...

Distored me.... cute mah?


Here's another one... Cheese.... lol... took this pic using some wired program from mac book.. funny sia...

pic 1 Apple Mac Book was delivered to my place at 1030H this morning was scheduled to arrive at 1600H but... anyway, I was at work, luckily Emily was ard and rx it on behalf of me, tks emily!!

pic 2 Opening my Apple Mac Book Package... I give out a loud WOW!! cos was really impressed with e effort pple at Apple put into designing n packaging this Mac Book... Simply love it!!!

pic 3 Hehe... Finally got my hands onto e Mac Book... Cool sia....

pic 4 My new desk, new fan, new creative speakers, new Acer lappy n Lastest member into my tech family, Apple Mac Book... COOL!!!

pic 5 My Desktop had been shifted to e living room... that's e new adsl wireless modem...

pic 6 E Desktop in May's room... configured to go wireless too!!!!

pic 7 Here's e top view of my desk... lol... but i've change e layout once again... right now, apple mac book is on the right while acer lappy is on the left... lol... complicating right? lol.. i'm a complicated person... lol becos i am a girl mah... wahahah...

oh ya, there's still ting's HP lappy.. hvn take pic yet.. shall post up one soon...

Anyway, just came back from movie.. brought my popo n mama to watch Singapore Dreaming... had quite high expectation from the show... but after watching... it doesnt live up to my expectations... haiz... my advise to u if u hvn catch it, dun go n watch, wait for e vcd... hmmm.... very slow moving show to me... n i'm sry to say that it's one of e not so gd (i wanna to use e worst local film one but think better not lah, like very bad sia...) local film that i've watched... haiz... realli quite disappointed with it...

Anyway, just took some stupid photos using e mac book programs n we had were laughing so much till out tummy hurts... shall post up some pics later on... hmmm... anyway, tat's abt all for now... abit tired.. shall cont update again soon...

something is wrong with blogger, i cant update with word except these... shoot*!!!!!

Noe Y i said that?? Cos quite a few of my frens went for the Project Superstar 2 Auditon yesterday at e TPY HDB HUB. I did not plan to go down, but my gong gong sister Emily went down herself early in e morning hoping to catch a glimse of XiaoBai, cos he is going for e audition too... but from 9am till 2pm, she did get to see him... reason? cos he is still in e Q sia... lol.... Therefore, after work, i went home, bath n change le then go down to join her... n also to drag her home lah, if not dunno wat time she will leave lor... lol... n to my surprise, saw some of my frens there too.. so happy... lol... Shall post up e pics later for u all to see...

Anyway, e Q was sooooooooooooooooooooooo long lor... i wonder y pple can stand under e hot sun n waited n waited.... but i admire they determination n courage... cos i wont dare to join such a competition lor... lol... Therefore, i sincerely wish everyone of them ALL THE BEST in e Project Superstar 2 contest!

ok, finally manage to drag Emily away from there at ard 6pm? then we went to ps, cos i wanna get a smaller fan for my new desk.. lol, found one in carrefour n cost me $39.90 sia... to me abit ex sia, but bo bian hv to buy... then i nearly forked out 418 to get e sony ericsson w700i sia... cos on promo, but lucky me, e angelic side of me manage to overcome e evil side of me... so i did not part with my 418.... lol... then went to eat e oyster mee suan n big crispy chicken with emily.. then we went back to yishun, got a mouse pad from cyberactive m it cost me $12 dollars... but i like it... lol.. cos it's white and it match with my black mouse n lappy... so happy...

hmmm.. finally pay day is coming... lol... cannot anyhow spend liao, must after payday then spend again... lol.. jia liat.. really hv been on a spending spree since july... nv knew tat shopping can be so fun... but i cannot go overboard sia... if not will hv no saving liao... hoping e angelic side of me can defeat e evil side when e temptation arises... lol.... ok, guess tat's abt all... enjoy e pics.... tata...



All e superstars wanna be... there are so many of them there... standing n Q-ing up under e hot sun... i really admire them them for their determination n courage... wishing all of them all e best... n among them are some of my frens.....



From L to R: Jeremy, XiaoBai n Shiyu. Personally, i noe XiaoBai, as for Jeremy n Shiyu, supported them at their road shows together with XiaoBai... Hmmm.. dunno consider frens anot.. lol... but whatever it is.. wish them all e best!!! Especially to XiaoBai!!!



Superstar in e making... here are e sacrifices, Q-ing under e hot hot sun.



He is Swee Seng, my BB's buddy. i managed to find him in e crowd just b4 i left... lucky huh?? lol... He can sing very well too... All e best ya!



n last but not least... my bestest buddy Eugene... Poor him, had been Q-ing up under e hot hot sun since 10am, when i found him, he is already as red as a lobster liao.. lol.... anyway, all e best to you!!!

The XiaoBai pics are taken by Emily, i oni took Swee Seng n Eugene pics.. lol.. cos She found xiaobai b4 i reach sia... lol... Her photography skills had improve alot under my teaching sia.. lol.. n u noe wat.. these pics are not taken with my lumix... but taken with her creative cam... not bad right? ok so much for now, gotta prepare for work already.. tata....

The Beginning...


Halfway thru....


Final step....


The final product... Yan Dao right?? lol
saw any dif in e beginning n final product pic?


Got this survey from a fren's blog...
it's interesting n i wanna know how happy i'm now... lol...

Subject:My life is ... happy

Message:
[x] You know someone that cares aboutyou.
[x] You have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancee/husband/ wife.
[] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[x] You have more than 2 best friends.
T O T A L: 6

[x] You dress how you want to.
[ ] You hang out with friends more than once aweek.
[x] There is a computer and laptop in your house.
[ ] You have never been beaten up.
[] You never cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[ ] Your room is big enough for you.
[ ] People don't use you for something you have.
[x] You have been to a concert.
[x] You laugh more than twice a day.
T O T A L: 5

[x] You have over 50 friends on Friendster.
[ ] You have pictures on myspace.
[x] Your parents let you have a Friendster
[x] You have no problem in your studies.
[x] You collect something normal.
[ ] People don't make fun of you to be mean.
[x] You look forward to going to school.
[ ] You don't wish you were someone else.
[x] You do something after school at home/outside.
[ ] You always pass ALL the subjects in exams.
T O T A L: 6

[ ] You own a car.
[x] You usually don't fight with your parents
[ ] You are happy with your appearance/looks.
[ ] You aren't self-consious at all.
[x] You have friends.
[ ] Your parents working salary monthly is more than $4000.
[x] You know your parents care and love you.
T O T A L: 3

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about so many people.
[x] You are happy with your life.
[ ] You usually aren't sick.
[x] You know more than one language.
[ ] You have a screen name.
[x] You've gotten awards/prizes/trophies before.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[ ] You dont have any enemies at all.
[x] You are Happy that you're living.
T O T A L: 7

GRAND TOTAL : 27 x 2 = 54%

Gal... i'm also just a little over e happy side leh... nvm, we shall work hard hand in hand to become a happier person ok!

ok, back to some updates for e past few day...
work had been busy... but well, seriously speaking i am enjoying it... cos it's sth meaningful evenhough we had to stayback to clear b/log after work... i dun mind staying back for ops purposes.. but if i were made to stay back for some extra n bo liao stuff, then i would cursed n swear.. but nope, i'm enjoying work now... so as to say, i'm more n more used to the new shift le... things were not as bad as i tht it would be.. getting on pretty well with almost everyone n i'm picking up new skills everyday... it's gd... but of course, i missed my previous shift too... especially my lao da, my ah boy, my 2 little junior alvin n cheryl... hmm.... i'm looking forward to working with them again... i hope e day will come..

.. ok, ehaf abt working stuff... let's see... hmmm been spending again recently.. cos of e comex lor... lol.. BB bought a viewsonic 19" widescreen lcd monitor and had got a new CPU with coolermaster casing lor... wah... e specs is very gd lor... but happy for him, cos he had been wating to get a new pc already.. finally he got one now.. think he must be very happy lor.. keke... as for me... got some accessories lor... i.e laptop cooler, dvdr, cdr, mic etc etc....n i got mysef a new desk for my laptop n finally shifted e desktop to e living for my younger siblings access... right now, they are 2 desktop n 2 laptop in my hse lor... so to say, each of us (4 sister) can lof on to the internet at e same time... n i've just upgraded my singnet broadband plan to 10mps... they will come n do e installation for me next sat... woots.. cant wait for that to happen man... lol...

bb, had a new haircut today... took some pics of him using his hp.. shall post up some pics later... after his hairvut we went to source for my desk... finally got one... then we went to buy 6 live crabs home n steam... While bb is assembling e desk for me, i'm busy fighting with e crabs lor... lol... tat's y i din took any pics of bb assembling e desk for me neither did he took any pics of me fighting with e crabs lor... lol.. funny right? anyway, e desk is up n my laptop is place right on top of it now.. woots... so happy... n we just had a feast of a crabby meal too.. lol... i cooked not bad ok... just nice lor... yum yum...

tml, xiaobai will be going for e superstar audition, i believe he can make it one... therefor i'm sending him my well wishes here... i'm glad that he had got over e bad patch of his life n had picked himself up again... lol.. n yes... tks to him... most of my colleagues n myself get to know that THEY ARE NO WATERMELON TRESS, cos watermelon doesnt grow on trees!!! lol..

n YES!!! my best buddy Eugene is going for e superstar audition too, though he doesnt hv any proper vocal training, but trust me, he can sing really well so i'm sure he can get thru e 1st rd of audition too.. provided he doesnt hv stage fright... nevertheless, wishing u all e best too Eugene!! jia you ah!!
hmmm... ok so much for now... gotta go take a rest, tml also working am shift.. tkcare pple.. miss ya all!! tata...